My Personal Story: Becoming a Surrogate

My Personal Story with Becoming a Surrogate

  • Santa Monica Fertility
  • Surrogacy

I have been a Surrogate twice now; trust me when I say this…

Contrary to what some may believe there are a whole lot of people out there who take great pleasure in helping others in many different ways. In my case, I wanted to give something to another that brought me the most joy. What I had to give was the gift of parenthood. I had seen so many people struggling to have a child for various reasons, and being a mother of a child myself I truly knew what they were missing. This is how my  exciting journey to becoming a surrogate began.

Cha-Ching!

It all began with finding the right help which meant finding a surrogate agency. Keeping in mind this was a new experience for me, you can imagine the enthusiasm that was in my voice when I made that first contact with a surrogate agency that I found online.

My excitement was soon to be shattered though. The first thing I learned after a short conversation with this surrogacy agency was that it was all about the money! One of the first questions I was asked was what compensation I was looking for. That thought had not even crossed my mind because it was not my intent.

Overwhelmed, to Say the Least

What I also took away from my experience with the first surrogacy agency I contacted was that there was a long road ahead of me to become a surrogate. After getting past the line of questioning, I was matched with a couple and the rollercoaster began. I was expected to travel to a random clinic chosen by the intended parents, and be subject to testing and the embryo transfer procedure done by a doctor I have never met before; with no one I knew holding my hand.

Then there were the legalities that needed to be completed. I was signing a contract that didn’t support me, my current or future needs, but of course, as a first-time surrogate, I didn’t know that at the time. Loss of wages compensation capped? It didn’t seem inappropriate at first, and with no one representing me passed the matching but myself, I found out on my own skin just how unfair the contract was, on many levels. On top of all of this were the costs that I would need to incur like the travel and accommodation expenses as well as additional testing that was required.

The Beginning of the End

After finally going through all the hurdles that were potentially capable of standing in my way, ten months later I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl. If it wasn’t for a friend who agreed to stay with me during the birth, for which I will be forever grateful to her, I would have been alone, as my intended parents were delayed and didn’t make it on time. However, within minutes the new mom arrived and was able to meet her daughter for the first time. The look of amazement, joy and pure love on her face made becoming a surrogate all worth it.

Where to Next?

Giving birth to a surrogate baby was the most worthwhile thing that I have ever done for another human being in my life. It felt amazing, it felt right and gave me a sense of accomplishment that is almost hard to describe. I knew instantly that I would do it again if I could and I also knew one more thing: if I was to be a surrogate mother again, I would need someone to fight in my corner through the surrogacy journey from beginning to the end.

California Premium Surrogacy to the Rescue

With careful research, I discovered California Premium Surrogacy. I found an agency where I was a part of the team, and here I was supported every step of the way, day and night. Where everyone understood that being a surrogate is not about the business, but a true calling for me. I met Dr. Jain and his medical team very early in the qualifying process and I knew he would be the doctor transferring the embryo and looking after me, regardless of who or where the intended parents were. One of the nurses, as well as California Premium Surrogacy staff, were always a phone call away, supporting me with whatever I needed. I had the confidence that my needs as a surrogate were an utmost priority and the best part of all – the agency Director was there to hold my hand when I gave birth. Having three of her own children and having been a surrogate twice herself, she knew this was the least that she could do to support me.

The Gift of Life

Carrying somebody else’s child in my belly twice now was a surreal experience. Some people, even close to me, still don’t “get” why I did it. I guess they haven’t seen the faces of new parents picking up their child for the first time. The child (or two!) that they thought they would never have. It’s a priceless experience and so worthwhile. But it can be difficult and daunting, if you don’t know the ins and outs of surrogacy and how to ensure you are supported.

Being a Gestational Surrogate

If you are like me but are just beginning to take interest in possibly becoming a surrogate you are going to have many questions that you need answers to. You are also going to need explanations that you can understand. Do your research and choose wisely – you will need someone to be there for you along the way – not just for the matching with intended parents.

Here are some questions you could start with:

  1. Who is my contact at the agency and how will we communicate?
  2. What expenses will I need to incur?
  3. Do I have to have a relationship with a fertility clinic or do you provide that connection? How will I know that I am in good hands?
  4. What if I have a medical issue? Who will help me?
  5. Do you have an attorney who will guide me through the contract process? Who will
    ensure that that my interests are represented?
  6. How do I know if I’ve got the right insurance coverage? What if I don’t?
  7. What if I want a single embryo transfer? Can I control that?
  8. Who will be there when I give birth and hold my hand if I need it?

If you feel as though becoming a surrogate is right for you, begin the process now with a trusted surrogacy agency and to see if you qualify.

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