If you are considering becoming a surrogate, you will naturally want to explore both the pros and cons of being a surrogate mother. While surrogacy can be extremely rewarding, of course this journey is not for everyone. The decision to become a surrogate is a huge one, and you will want to carefully consider its impact, not only on you, but on your family. Let’s explore both the pros and cons of being a surrogate mother, so you can make the decision that is best for you.
Pros of Being a Surrogate Mother
There are plenty of pros to becoming a surrogate mother! Although every woman who becomes a surrogate has her own individual, personal reasons for making this choice, let’s look at six of the most common.
Giving the Gift of a Baby Through Surrogacy
The number one reason most surrogate mothers give as their primary motivation in becoming a surrogate is the opportunity to give the chance to build a family to someone else, who otherwise would never have been able to realize their dream. To see the joy on someone’s face as they realize they can finally have a family and welcome a child is one of the most emotionally rewarding moments you can have.
Surrogate Compensation Package
Although financial gains are never the main driver behind a woman’s decision to become a surrogate, surrogates are generously compensated for their time, for their personal sacrifice and for their willingness to undergo the medical testing and procedures necessary for surrogacy.
When looking at surrogate compensation, you should be aware that pay and benefits packages can vary widely, not only from agency to agency, but from state to state. Plus, not all benefits packages are the same. Here at Premium Surrogacy, we offer a complete compensation and benefits package that includes base pay, plus benefits that cover such things as maternity clothing, travel and childcare reimbursement, and lost wages, if necessary. Our minimum compensation package is $60,000 in California and for all other states in which we work it is $50,000. Of course, the base pay increases if you are a repeat surrogate.
For a complete breakdown of surrogate compensation and benefits, please see our pay and benefits page here.
Loved Being Pregnant? Become a Surrogate!
Many women simply love the experience of being pregnant but have already completed their own families. Surrogacy is a wonderful opportunity to experience pregnancy once more without adding to your own family and having the stress of raising another child. Plus, your healing time after delivery is much faster when you are not caring for an infant.
Here’s what one of our surrogates said when discussing her journey recently:
“Being pregnant is amazing (for those of us who experience healthy pregnancies) but there is something VERY cool and amazing when you are pregnant for the sake of someone else to be able to become a parent. It’s the most humbling experience ever”.
Surrogate Support Networks
When you make the decision to become a surrogate mother, you enter into a very special group of people who have made the same decision. You will make bonded connections with your fellow surrogates who will in many cases become lifelong friends!
Because of these strong connections plus the continuous support you will receive every step of the way from our dedicated, experienced, and professional staff, you will never be alone in your surrogacy journey.
Enjoy an Unmatched Sense of Accomplishment
When you can say you have been a surrogate mother and have given the gift of a child to someone who could not otherwise have had a family, you will have accomplished something that very few people can claim. The confidence you will feel, the sense of satisfaction that comes from having done real, meaningful work in the world, and the personal growth you will gain from this experience is unmatched.
Benefits of Being a Surrogate
The benefits of being a surrogate are many. Some benefits will be more important to potential surrogates than others, as each individual will have her own primary motivation for why she wants to begin the surrogacy journey. No one benefit is more “correct” or better than others, as it’s your individual experience and personality that will determine what is most important to you.
In summary, the main benefits of being a surrogate are:
- Being able to give the invaluable gift of a child
- A generous compensation and benefits package
- The joy of being able to experience pregnancy without adding to your own family
- Belonging to an incredibly close and supportive network of surrogates and professionals
- Having the opportunity to create a close and even long-term bond with intended parents
- Accomplishing something that few other people have done
Cons of Being a Surrogate Mother
Just as there are many pros to becoming a surrogate mother, there are cons as well. If you are considering this choice, you need to carefully consider all of the information, including reasons why you may not want to make this decision. You owe it to yourself to take an honest and straightforward look at any negatives you may encounter from this experience. Let’s take a look at several of the most common.
Surrogacy Can Be Physically Taxing
Any pregnancy demands a lot from a woman, emotionally as well as physically, and you must take extremely good care of yourself during the pregnancy to ensure you, as well as the baby, remain in optimal health. One of the most important things you can do for yourself and the baby is to get proper nutrition. We’ve put together a helpful guide to nutrition in surrogate pregnancy that you can find here
To support you throughout the process here at Premium Surrogacy we offer free counseling, nutrition consultations, and arrange weekly deliveries of fresh fruit and vegetables to all our pregnant surrogates
Will I Regret Being a Surrogate?
This is a fair question and is one you are bound to ask yourself at least a few times! Surrogacy can be emotionally challenging for some women, plus pregnancy hormones may add to this emotional roller coaster.
Some women wonder if they will get attached to the baby? This is a natural question but with the right support and the counseling we offer, this is unlikely. Our thorough surrogate screening includes a detailed psychological assessment to ensure you are 100% ready for this journey.
Here’s the most important thing to keep in mind: because at Premium Surrogacy, all surrogates are gestational carriers only and are not in any way genetically related to the baby, so the process is more emotionally straightforward.
Surrogate Pregnancy Risks
Surrogacy pregnancy, just like any other pregnancy, involves risks that must be considered and understood before commencing your surrogacy journey
There is risk in every pregnancy, and with IVF there is added risk. All surrogates should complete their families prior to their surrogacy journeys and/or be content with their family building goals in the event they are left unable to carry another child after surrogacy. While the probability of this happening is low, it is still possible, and must be considered in making your decision to become a surrogate.
Time Commitment that Being a Surrogate Requires
One of the cons of being a surrogate is the time commitment involved, as the process is lengthy and is likely to consume quite a bit of your life for at least a year, and often much longer. You will need time to devote to the extensive psychological and medical screening process, matching, planning of the pregnancy, and of course the 9 months of being pregnant.
The time commitment involved is a big part of the process and needs to weigh in as part of your decision to become a surrogate. You will need to be patient, responsive and flexible as you go through the process. Unexpected events, such as a pregnancy complication, having to have a c-section or being unable to work for a while are all possibilities to consider as you make your decision.
Facing Skepticism From Unsupportive Family or Friends
You can’t go through this journey without the support of your nearest and dearest as surrogacy affects your entire immediate family. Will there be people unsupportive of surrogacy asking questions or offering unsolicited comments or unwelcome advice? Absolutely!
You need to expect this and be prepared to deal with these comments and not be affected by the negativity. Also, be prepared to answer questions around “what happened to the baby?” from concerned neighbors or moms at school who may have not been aware of your pregnancy being a surrogate one. This is where being part of a close-knit support group of fellow surrogates and professional agency staff is invaluable.
What Are the Risks of Being a Surrogate Mother?
As we have stated, being a surrogate mother is not for everyone. In addition to all of the wonderful pros of surrogacy, you need to consider the cons as well. We want you to be fully informed and have all the information you need to make the best decision for you and your family.
In the end, this is your decision, and you have to take into consideration all of the potential negatives as well as the positives to be certain you are making the right choice for you. The main risks of being a surrogate mother are:
- The physical and emotional stress brought on by the pregnancy
- Fears that you might regret becoming a surrogate, including concerns you might become attached to the baby
- The risk that you might have complications resulting in an inability to have more children
- The large time commitment that is required
- Tolerating potentially insensitive or unsupportive comments from friends or extended family members
What Is It Like Being a Surrogate?
While it’s great to hear about others’ experiences of being a surrogate, each individual is unique in the way she experiences this journey. Surrogacy for each woman will never be exactly the same as it is for other women.
While there are many rewards as well as challenges with a surrogate journey, many women find the experience to be so fulfilling they complete the surrogacy journey more than once.
Some of our previous surrogates who have completed their journeys with us did share their experiences and we would like to share with you their personal stories of becoming a surrogate, as you may find these helpful.
Is Being a Surrogate Worth It?
Here at Premium Surrogacy, we believe that for the women who have gone through our screening process and have become surrogates, these journeys were definitely worth it for them. But will it be worth it for you? This is a question only you can answer
Yes, there are risks, including possible medical complications, emotional stress and a huge time commitment. And there are also rewards, including giving the priceless gift of a child, a sense of wonderful accomplishment, and a generous compensation package.
Again, no two surrogate journeys are alike. Take into consideration all of the pros and cons we have outlined, read about others’ experiences, talk with your family and then make your decision based not only on the “facts” but how you feel deep in your heart about this decision.
Should I Become a Surrogate?
Although no one but you can make this decision for you and your family, great things start with a great conversation! Contact us online or call us directly at (310) 566-1487 (CA and nationwide) or at (762) 333-4659 (East Coast) if you have any questions.
We have the answers and experience to guide and support you, as after all, we’ve been there before! Be assured we will give you all the information and insights to help you do what is best for you. Our team members have all been surrogates themselves, so they have a unique appreciation for what you are facing as you make this decision.
If you are ready to apply, please submit a short surrogate application online here.
You may also find this page helpful on some of the myths and misconceptions surrounding who is qualified to be a surrogate.
Again, please don’t hesitate to reach out either online or by phone if you have questions or simply want to talk things over with our professional staff. We are here to support you in whatever decision you make!